10 Tips for surviving and thriving this holiday season

Dr. Rick Petronella PhD shares how to survive and thrive during the holidays and how to avoid the holiday blues.

The holidays can feel like a very overwhelming time with the unexpected or even dreaded visits from family and friends, financial expectations and the sudden onset of the holiday blues. Dr. Rick Petronella has some tips and tricks to help you survive and maybe even thrive this holiday season.

Dr. Rick shares that this is a time of year that can be difficult because it might be a reminder that old wounds haven't quite healed as much as we thought, and the thought of feeling unloved or loved less than can be devastating. He also shares how we can cope through a second holiday season with COVID-19.

1. Keep your regular routine. A change in routine can lead to additional stress. Try to exercise at your usual time, go to meetings that you normally go to, and stick to your normal heathy diet.

2. Think moderation. While it may be easy to drink and eat too much at parties and special dinners, we should try not to overindulge with food and/or alcohol. Remember, eating and drinking may feel like they temporarily “ease the pain” of the holiday blues, but they can also lead to feelings of guilt.

3. Be realistic, and try not to expect the deal holiday. So many of us have an idealized version of what the holidays should be and are very disappointed when they don’t live up to those expectations. Try to be realistic. Remember, nobody has a perfect holiday or perfect family.

4. Stay connected. Make sure to leave time to spend with friends and/or family who value you. And if they don’t live close by, call them for a reality check or some grounding. Remember to ask for support if you need it.

5. Throw guilt out the window. Try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself to be happy, to rejoice, or even to enjoy the holidays. Likewise, try not to overanalyze your interactions with others. Give yourself a break this holiday season.

6. Don’t be alone if you don’t want to be. If you anticipate spending the holidays alone, try to volunteer somewhere, like in a soup kitchen, with children in group homes, or the elderly in various facilities. People will so appreciate you that you may feel better about yourself, but more importantly, you’ll have company.

7. Focus on today, not yesterday. There’s something about being with family and old friends that makes us become who we were and not who we are now. When you find yourself reverting to old childhood patterns with family members, try to walk away for a minute and remember who you are now. Also remember that it’s not necessary to play the same role as you did when you were younger, even if others are encouraging you to do so by their behaviors. If there is someone at the get-together who knows what you are like today, make sure to reach out to them and draw them into the interactions. That will help to ground you.

8. Just say no. It’s OK to say no when you’re asked to do more than you can. It’s fine to say no to some invitations and fine to say no to those asking for favors. Remember, this is your holiday, too!

9. Ask for help. Holidays are often a time that people attempt to take on too much or do too much on their own. It’s OK to ask for help from family and friends. Whether it is for decorating, shopping, cooking. Just asj for a shoulder to lean on.

10. Be good to yourself. If you’re feeling blue, take care of you. Do what feels good, and what you want to do. Try to take a walk or spend time alone, if that’s what you want. Remember, this is your holiday, too, and you can be there for yourself just like you try to be for everyone else.

Take Dr. Rick's Gratitude Quiz

1) I have so much in life to be appreciative for. True or False

2) If I had to list everything that I felt thankful for, it’d be a pretty long list. True or Not True False

3) When I think about my immediate world, there’s not that much to be grateful for. True or False

4) I’m grateful for the people around me. True or False

5) Most days I think about people or things I’m thankful for. True or False

Take a look at your answers. What can you begin to do to help yourself overcome your challenges and stay in your gratitude?

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